Unfinished donkeys

This is an unfinished round-robin story written by Hinotori and Ascidiella, circa 2003-2004. Warning, this story contains l33t speak, clowns, stereotypes, gratuitous violence, donkeys, and bad writing:

Asci:
A long long time ago, in a land far far far away,

Hino:

There lived a little old man in a thatched cottage by the sea.

Asci:
His face was weathered, brown and crinkled in laugh lines, for his long life had been filled with many joys. Deft fingers as yet untouched by bone-aches still allowed him

Hino:
to agilely play the simple, yet elegant lute that he had carved and strung himself. On many nights, the sounds of his soulful playing could be heard emanating from the tiny hut. The silence around him gave way to his music as if in deference to his superior skill.

Asci:
He emulated with ease the freshwater springs running through the rocks in the green hills behind his cottage, dry reeds clacking and swaying in the portentous autumn winds, the hail whistling, rebounding, sliding from his thatched roof in the winter storms, the sweet chirrups of birds in the morning chorus.

Early one dawn, as golden and peach tones gently illumined the ancient stones of his cottage,

Hino:
the old man, having played through the night, laid his only prized possession down to get some rest before gathering firewood for the day. However, just as he gently put aside the instrument, he heard footsteps outside his door. The old man feared little- he had seen much and experienced much in his many years- but somewhere deep in his heart he felt a cold chill. The door swung open to reveal

Asci:
a young lad seemingly less than thirteen summers, dripping seawater from his torn breeches and a once white shirt. He opened his parched mouth and whispered, "water," then collapsed in a small boneless heap. Salt and sand was encrusted in his hair and the old man could see the inflamed scratches that marred his arms and legs, evidence of a rough journey upon the rocky shoreline.

Hino:
The old man stood up and almost fell over, having forgotten how brittle his legs were becoming. His first instinct was to brush the lifeless form out and lock the door. Solitude had been his most intimate companion these last few years of his life- and he had grown fond of it's presence. Now this young boy threatened to change everything. However, within a moment of this initial reaction, the old man realized that this was a human being- one who was in obvious need of help. Putting selfish thoughts aside, he pulled the young boy over by the fireplace and got some wood together for a fire.

Asci:
The wood sputtered and leapt quickly to life, and the old man gathered his blankets and piled them next to the boy. He knew little of healing but the basics he had taught himself over the years, and he recalled the importance of cleansing the wounds. As he removed the boy's shirt to attend to the wounds on his arms, he noticed the long wide cloth bindings around the lad's torso.

Hino:

The old man was confused, but before he could unravel them to see if the boy had suffered any injuries in that area, the lad stirred and his eyes blinked a couple times. The old man immediately got up and got some food and a skin of water from the shelf. The dried fish was salty and not very tasty but at least it was sustenance. Leaning over the young boy, he slowly opened his mouth and poured the water in, all the while careful that he didn't choke on it. The lad closed his mouth for one second and then finally opened to say something.

Hino:

The old man was confused, but before he could unravel them to see if the boy had suffered any injuries in that area, the lad stirred and his eyes blinked a couple times. The old man immediately got up and got some food and a skin of water from the shelf. The bread was hard and stale but at least it was sustenance. Leaning over the young boy, he slowly opened his mouth and poured the water in, all the while careful that he didn't choke on it. The lad closed his mouth for one second and then finally opened to say something.

Hino:

The old man was confused, but before he could unravel them to see if the boy had suffered any injuries in that area, the lad stirred and his eyes blinked a couple times. The old man immediately got up and got a skin of water from the shelf. Leaning over the young boy, he slowly opened his mouth and poured the water in, all the while careful that he didn't choke on it. The lad closed his mouth for one second and then finally opened to say something.

Asci:
"I AM DEATH INCARNATE! PH33R ME!"

Asci:
"Help," he said weakly, "I need your help. My father-" The lad coughed painfully, his throat constricted still in dryness.

Hino:

The old man slowly rose to his full height, his black cape whooshing ominously against the steel floor of the wooden hut. His breath came in deep audible gasps. "Your father... Luke, I AM YOUR FATHER."

The she-male fell backwards in disbelief. "No! It can't be! It's impossible!!!!!"

Hino:
"Don't talk," the old man said sternly. "Drink first." He slowly poured water into the boy's mouth. Then, looking at the wounds again, he noted that a few of them were becoming inflamed. He grabbed a small clean rag. "This is going to hurt- bite down hard." The man grabbed a flask of brandy that he had saved for rare nights when occasion or mood demanded it. Though, in his small secluded world, such an item was priceless, the old man did not think twice about pouring it away to help the young boy.

He could sense the fear in the boy's eyes. It almost hurt him as much as the child as he slowly poured the alcohol onto the open flesh. The child's eyes widened as the searing liquid burned like molten steel. However, the old man was impressed by the lad's courage as, instead of letting out a cry of pain, he merely bit down hard- almost chewing through the rag. The child's eyes slowly rolled up into the sockets and the lids closed him into unconsciousness...

Asci:
"Oye vey," muttered the old man/Darth Vader/father of a she-male. "talk about inconsiderate children in denial. And then they always go off to la-la land, so then I can't even give 'em another line of dialogue."

Hino:
The young child dreamed... and suddenly felt surrounded by a tangible darkness with a touch like velvet. In the distance, the lad could barely make out the shadowy outline of a dark figure.

"This is your father... I have an important message for you. YOU CAN FAST-FORWARD A STORY FOR YOUR READERS."

Poof! The apparition disappeared.

Hino:
The lad's eyes fluttered open as he regained consciousness. "Where am I?" His hands, slowly exercised their mobility, feeling the fabric of the hammock that their owner had been laid upon. Sweet music, soft like nature on a kind day, could be heard playing nearby. In his blurry state of half-consciousness, the child thought that he had died and gone to heaven, however, as his eyesight returned, he noticed that "heaven" was none other than a small hut with a cozy fire.

The old man sat by the fireplace and gently placed the lute back in its usual place. "You're awake. Finally. I'm so sorry about the pain you had to endure. However, the wounds were infected and needed to be cleaned. Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?"

The boy's eyes widened as his memory returned to him.

Asci:
"Can I have some salty fish? Or maybe some holy bread would be good," requested the hungry urchin.

Asci:
He looked down with panicked eyes and clutched at his borrowed shirt, but then visibly relaxed as the old man watched, puzzled. "Who are you?" the boy whispered.

Hino:

"I told you already. I AM YOUR FATHER."

Hino:
"Who am I?" the old man laughed. The wrinkles on his face showed that this was not an unusual expression for him. "No one important. I'm just an old man who likes his privacy." He paused as he reevaluated what he just said. "Oh don't worry, company is a welcome change- I'd almost forgotten what real people were like. My name is Samuel by the way. I make my living fishing but my life really revolves around this old thing." He gently picked up the lute again. "Ten years, this old girl has been the only company I've had." For a while, he seemed lost inside himself, but then he woke from his daze and began to chuckle a little embarrassedly. "I'm so sorry. I guess after a while you lose your manners. Tell me about yourself- what happened and is there anything I can do to help?"

Hino:
"Who am I?" the old man laughed. The wrinkles on his face showed that this was not an unusual expression for him. "No one important. I'm just an old man who likes his privacy." He paused as he reevaluated what he just said. "Oh don't worry, company is a welcome change- I'd almost forgotten what real people were like. My name is Ephram by the way. I make my living fishing but my life really revolves around this old thing." He gently picked up the lute again. "Ten years, this old girl has been the only company I've had." For a while, he seemed lost inside himself, but then he woke from his daze and began to chuckle a little embarrassedly. "I'm so sorry. I guess after a while you lose your manners. Tell me about yourself- what happened and is there anything I can do to help?"

Hino:

"I AM TRA'IANAFRIANDAPGH! PH33R MY UNPRONOUNCEABLE GLORY!"

Hino:
"Who am I?" the old man laughed. The wrinkles on his face showed that this was not an unusual expression for him. "No one important. I'm just an old man who likes his privacy." He paused as he reevaluated what he just said. "Oh don't worry, company is a welcome change- I'd almost forgotten what real people were like. My name is Jeorg by the way. I make my living fishing but my life really revolves around this old thing." He gently picked up the lute again. "Ten years, this old girl has been the only company I've had." For a while, he seemed lost inside himself, but then he woke from his daze and began to chuckle a little embarrassedly. "I'm so sorry. I guess after a while you lose your manners. Tell me about yourself- what happened and is there anything I can do to help?"

Asci:
"Well, old-man-with-an-identity-problem, my name is Aro'eniade'ich, and that's all I remember, 'cause I have amnesia, or it could be that my uncreative author can't think of what to make me be/do/say next."

Asci:

"My name is... Coldran. I was on a ship... there was a storm, and I... I managed to swim to shore," the boy mumbled evasively. "Thank you for taking me in, Jeorg."

Hino:

"Oh don't thank me. Nike pays me 15% for every kid I drag in to work at the sweatshop factory. What did you think this was? A mission? Better pack your bags boy- you're behind your quota of 50 Air Jordans already."

Hino:

The old man smiled warmly. "Not at all. Like I said, it's nice to have company. Before I cleansed your wounds, you whispered something about your father. Is he ok? Where is he?"

Asci:

The lad frowned at an unhappy memory, then shrugged. "My father wanted to sell me off to a foreigner for a gaggle of geese and a barrel of durian. I tried escaping several times and failed, but I guess... he probably didn't escape the sea in the end."

Hino:

"A barrel of durian you say... I haven't had durian in... ages." The old man looked over the boy.

"You don't happen to know where this foreignor is perchance... and if he's still in business..."

Hino:
"That's horrible!" the old man exclaimed. He had enjoyed freedom so long, he had almost forgotten... no, it was a distant memory- one he didn't want to surface, especially not in the presence of this young lad.

"Do you have any friends or relatives? Anyone that may be looking for you?"

Asci:

"I don't think so..." Coldran trailed off uncertainly. "I probably wouldn't want to meet them anyway if they knew my father."

Asci:
Disappointed by the lack of creativity and content on the part of Coldran, the old man wearily stomped off toward the cliffs and threw himself off.

Asci:

"I don't think so..." Coldran trailed off uncertainly. "I probably wouldn't want to meet them anyway if they knew my father. Is there a village nearby? I don't want to impose..." At that moment, the clomp of a pair of heavy boots were heard outside Ephram's door.

"Ephram -open up, you old goat! Me ma's just baked this bread this morn', and she wants you to have it in thanks for the salted fish you sent by last week," a young man yelled amiably.

Asci:
Due to complaints by the old man who maintains he's a hermit on a beach or deserted island, however improbable... we now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

Asci:
"I don't think so..." Coldran trailed off uncertainly. "I probably wouldn't want to meet them anyway if they knew my father. Is there a village nearby? I don't want to impose..." At that moment, the clomp of a pair of heavy boots were heard outside Jeorg's door.

Hino:

The door swung open and the boy and old man froze in terror.

"I am the ghost of clomping past! I should not exist but I'm still here! I still have bread for you from my mom who also does not exist! Muahahahaha!"

Clomp! clomp! clomp! clomp!...

Hino:
The old man froze. Another guest? Two? The boy looked at Jeorg inquisitively. The old man responded with only a silent motion to stay seated.

Quietly he whispered, "Was there anyone with you?"

The boy shook his head. The old man slowly got up and opened the door cautiously.

Asci:
In popped a clown with enormous orange hair, polkadotted bowtie, garishly striped pants and oversized heavy spiked shoes. It laughed as only clowns can laugh -the kind that sends shivers up your spine and raises the hair on your head, portentious of the horrible fate awaiting you past the gates of Death. The boy shrunk back into a corner and screamed wordlessly in terror as the clown advanced on him with a squirt-flower drawn.

Asci:
The door creaked soundlessly as it swung open, admitting a slight figure dressed in black. Long straight black hair streaked with red highlights framed a pixielike face with exotic almond shaped eyes. Taut skin stretched over almost skeletal features could be seen in her bared arms and collarbones. Six inch heels floated her almost unseen underneath the long flared pants. The old man AKA Ephram AKA Jeorg sighed at this lovely emaciated vision of beauty, but the boy suddenly screamed and clawed at the walls in an attempt to escape. "Arg! The Sexy AzN Badass Seductress!"

"Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. If you do not comply, you will be ostracized and reduced to a life of an old maid." The SABS reached out a clawlike hand toward the he-she and cackled in unbridled glee.

Asci:
A man in a worn guardsman uniform stood with hand raised to knock on the door. He looked surprised, then recovered his composure. "Good day, old man. I bring an edict from the Merchant's Guild of Averno. By order of Lord Poamo, any cargo that washes up from the recent shipwreck off these shores is to be returned to the Guild," the guard's eyes scanned over Coldran who kept his eyes down. "Also, there was a girl of about 16 summers on the ship. Bring her to the Guild if you find her and you shall be rewarded."

Hino:

"If the reward is a barrel of durian, then she's right over there."

"That's a boy isn't it?"

"Whatever- you give me durian- I give you kid. Deal?"

Hino:
"For what reason, may I ask, does the guild want such a child brought to them?"

The guardsman looked back sternly. "What should you care? I told you you would be rewarded. Very well too. Just keep your nose where it doesn't belong."

"Ahh. I see," the old man nodded. "I will most definitely be on the look out, though my son and I haven't seen anyone come by in several years. Actually, you're the first visitor that's come by in quite some time. Would you like to come in for a bit?"

"Don't be silly old man. I have no time for your meager hospitality."

"Ah... that's too bad. Some other time then. Good bye."

"Good bye." The guardsman stoically marched off without looking back once.

The old man closed the door and slowly looked back at Coldran. "Girl?" was the only word he uttered.

Asci:

"I... I don't know what you're talking about. There was a girl on the ship! But she drowned..." Coldran didn't look up at Jeorg.

Hino:

"Oh, well silly me then. Care for some backgammon?"

Hino:
The old man silently began to pack his belongings into a cloth bag.

Coldran looked at him apprehensively. "What are you doing?"

Without even looking up from his task of packing, the old man explained. "They'll be back. The Merchant's Guild of Averno is the very reason I left civilization. That was a long time ago. But by the looks of that soldier, things haven't changed. Listen child, your secret is safe with me, but I must go. I think it is in your best interests to come with me, but that, of course, is your decision."

The old man shoved an item of clothing and some food into the bag and then looked into Coldran's eyes.

Asci:
Coldran raised her head slowly and icy black orbs met Jeorg's eyes. A malodorous dark wind began to rise, malevolent whispers and eerie moans wrapping cold fingers around the old man's heart. Ravenous sightless creatures materialized slowly from shadowy corners, long sharpened appendanges feeling for prey. A hissing inhuman sound issued from Coldran's parted mouth, and words wrenched jarringly from her throat. "You know my secret... you will not be leaving..."

Asci:
Coldran raised her head, then nodded slowly as her fearful eyes met Jeorg's. "Thank you," she whispered. "Where are we going?"

Hino:
Coldran cackled maniacally as her head began to spin 360 degrees. The old man fell backwards and lifted a vial from his sack. Throwing it's contents of pure, holy water on the possessed child he yelled, "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!"

Hino:
"Not here, that's for sure." The old man closed the sack. "To the West, over those hills, lies the city of Averno. We'll go north instead into the forest to a city called Andrati. It's small but there's shelter there and food to eat. I have some friends who, if still alive, can help you get off this island." The old man paused. "Before we leave, it would be a good idea if you told me why they might want to find you. Fear not- I won't hold anything you say against you."

Coldran paused. Should she reveal everything now? Though this old man's motives seemed benevolent, he could be trying to trick her. Just like her father. Just like all of them.

Asci:
"As I said before, my father wanted to sell me off to a foreigner," she evasively, yet honestly, placed her words. Seeing her hesitation, the old man decided not to question her further for now. He nodded, then shouldered the sack and beckoned to Coldran to follow.

Hino:

"One... two..." The old man counted on his fingers. Two sentences. Sighing... he walked out of the hut and proceeded to bang his head on the nearest tree.

Hino:

Three even! My bad :)

Hino:
The old man pointed to a dusty trail that was obscured by large vegetation. "Though it's very rough and hasn't been used in ages- that trail should take us where we want to go." The old man struggled with the sack and slowly lifted it on his shoulders. Coldran frowned as she saw how heavy it was for him- she reached over to pick up the lute, hoping that she could be of some use, but the old man's eyes darted over and his hand quickly but gently grabbed the lute out of her grasp. "Sorry, I really appreciate your desire to help, but I think I'll carry that. Here. I'd be happy if you held on to the water for us." He handed a leather water skin to her. Hefting the sack on one shoulder and holding the lute in his other hand, he gestured towards the trail. "Shall we be off?"

Asci:

"I'm rea-" A loud rustling sound came from the large vegetation as it awoke. The oversized artichoke eyed the old man and girl as they approached, then broke out into the Little Shop of Horrors song "Feed me." Upon a finishing its dazzling show stopping number, it promptly ate the two unfortunate travellers and burped loudly.

Asci:
"Old man, you're pushing me out the door with tattered salty clothes. At least give me an old pair of boots or shirt sometime, will ya? Like maybe when we hit the waterfall, 'cause we will hit a waterfall where maybe I can take a much needed shower."

Asci:
Coldran nodded affirmative, and the old man pushed past the thick undergrowth. The vegetation cleared as the forest canopy grew denser, and their footsteps were muffled by damp leaves and pine needles. There was evidence that deer helped maintain the winding trail they now followed in silence, and only birds squabbling with each other and chittering squirrels could be heard.

By midday, Coldran was footsore and hungry, and amazed that the wiry old man could outlast her youthful reserves. She could hear the sound of rushing plunging water and smell the fresh moisture in the air. The old man looked back at her and smiled encouragingly. "Almost there. Just a little ways, and we can take a short rest and tend to our complaining bellies." Coldran inwardly sighed in relief.

Hino:

The two made their way deep into the underbrush until they heard the sound of rushing water. "What could that be?" Coldran quietly whispered. As their pensive eyes peered through the foliage they found themselves before a beautiful waterfall which cascaded into a lovely pool, surrounded by succulent fruit. Plump vines with giant grapes, luscious and exotic berries, and mouth-watering papayas provided a visual feast for their hungry eyes.

Coldran took a step forward to indulge in this heaven on earth- to shower, eat, and rest- but the old man grabbed her by the collar. "No no no. We're not stopping now you lazy slacker. Later."

Hino:
The two made their way deep into the underbrush until they heard the sound of rushing water. "What could that be?" Coldran quietly whispered. As their pensive eyes peered through the foliage they found themselves before a beautiful waterfall which cascaded into a lovely pool. Exotic fruit, each of unique but equally beautiful appearance infused the general atmosphere with a sweet delicious smell.

The old man smiled. "I think we should rest here." Coldran immediately ran into this worldly heaven laughing for the first time since Jeorg had met her. The old man sighed nostalgically at this expression of youth which he had long not witnessed. Making his way to the trees surrounding the pool, he proceeded to examine the fruit to see which were ripe for eating.

Asci:
The particularly uninspired, incoherent, late with assignment and penalized, stressed, wishing for sashimi author looked on as the two characters rested in the haven. Depressed and bitter about their happiness, she reaches out with a large electronic thumb and squishes them like ants on a crumb-flecked sticky sweet kitchen counter after two young whelps have made their peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches on it for lunch.

Asci:
Coldran dived into the water fully clothed to rub off any remaining salt and grime and immediately bumped her head lightly on the bottom. She surfaced, rubbing her head in embarrassment at her clumsiness, and looked over at Jeorg self consciously.

Hino:

At this point, the author resisted the temptation to highlight the sketchiness of the scenario. Instead, utilizing his superhuman will, he restrained himself to this line:

Good thing Jeorg isn't a priest.

Hino:
Jeorg realized that Coldran would probably want some privacy. Grabbing a colorful sample of some local fruit to munch on in self-imposed exile, Jeorg inconspicuously made his way through the brush to let her bathe in peace.

However, as he waited, serenely taking in the beautiful scenery, he felt the grip of sleep sieze him. The exhaustion from the journey disabled his defenses as he succumbed to the Sandman's call. But his rest was not to be undisturbed...

Asci:
The dreamscape took him and held him under mercilessly. Around him, ethereal voices drifted just below hearing, and slowly, two shapes materialized in front of him. One, cloaked and face hidden, chanted a low murmur continuously, while the second figure with expensively tailored clothes fitted to his squat body peered around fearfully. The cloaked man gestured to the squat man without stopping his chanting, and the second man puffed himself up, sneering at Jeorg and his homely fisherman's clothes. "This... peasant was the last who saw her?" The cloaked man nodded, and slowly, the two figures faded into the darkness. Jeorg jolted suddenly awake, confused and befuddled by his dream.

Hino:

"Hey, what the hell? I was sleeping peacefully before the two of you showed up!"

The squat man squeaked. "Ack! He's seen us! Run!!!" The cloaked figure waved his hands in the air and, murmuring some ancient incantation, produced two magical coconuts, each split in half.

"Away!" The cloaked figure exclaimed as the two clippity clopped away using the magical coconuts.

"If I had a mount, I'd catch you and beat you senseless!" Jeorg yelled tiredly. Then he fell over and resumed snoring loudly.

Hino:
There must be more to this girl than I thought, Jeorg thought to himself. He quickly tried to recall the elements of the dream, which threatened to disappear back into the depths of his subconscious. Unfortunately, however, his task was disturbed by the sound of twigs breaking. Without a word, Jeorg lay flat on his stomach, listening intently for the source of this intrusion.

?€?Sir. How do we know where to look for them??€? an uncertain voice asked rather loudly.

?€?Quiet, you fool! Keep your voices to a whisper,?€? came a vicious, hushed reply. ?€?They?€™re supposed to be somewhere in this area.?€?

Jeorg?€™s eyes grew wide. How was that possible? He hadn?€™t been asleep for long- the dream had woken him up early. Or had he? Jeorg looked up at the sky, and, to his abject dismay, realized that though daylight had remained roughly the same, the sun was in the west and not in the east. He had slept more than 3 hours! Cursing the natures of magic and dreams, he quietly but quickly made his way back to the pool. He could only pray that Coldran had not wandered off somewhere.

Asci:
He crouched in the undergrowth beside the pool and peered through the bushes cautiously. Not a soul was in sight, and even the woodland noises had stopped. There was only the pounding waterfall and his own ragged breaths from hurrying back. Slowly he straightened, disappointed and worried. "Where could she be?" he muttered to himself.

Suddenly, rough hands grabbed him from behind. "Take him alive!" Something struck his head, and Jeorg crumpled to the ground.

Hino:

"You'll never take me alive!" Jeorg yelled, as he ripped out two M4A1's and wielded one in each hand.

The assailants screamed in panic and took to their heels in flight, but they were too slow. The Reaper had come for them all.

Jeorg let out an adrenaline and testosterone heavy yell as he rained hot lead death on the countryside around him. Some poor fools tried to double back and use their pitiful primitive weapons on him, but they were no match. None could stand the fury of modern weaponry which was now unleashed on this savage nation. When the muzzles finally ceased to burn bright, Jeorg pulled out his pocket rocket launcher and aimed at a tower in the distance. "Mess with my dreams will you?"

A single missile left a cotton-white, pillowy streak behind it as it travelled a great distance, then detonated in a fiery, glorious pyrotechnic display, incinerating the stone tower. Grabbing Coldran who was hiding in a nearby bush, Jeorg threw down his weapons.

"C'mon. It's time to go home."

Hino:
When Jeorg opened his eyes, the first sight to greet him was total darkness. At first he thought he was still asleep, but as he slowly moved around, the pain of renewed circulation served as a severe notice that he was, indeed, awake. He slowly groped around in the dark, until his eyes finally became accustomed to his surroundings. Reaching forward, he grasped a set of iron bars. Captivity reminded him what had happened, and he scolded himself for the obliviousness that led to his current situation.

"Hello?" he shouted out to anyone who would hear. At first there was no reply. Just as Jeorg was about to turn away from the bars, a loud clanging of rock on metal jolted him.

?€?Who?€™s there??€? Jeorg asked. But the response was only another set of clanging noises.

Asci:
Coldran broke free in a frenzied panic from the scary old geezer. He lunged at her to grab her arm to drag her home, but she leapt back a few steps and his fingers barely brushed her sleeve. She turned and ran pell mell into the forest. Roots tripped her up, thorny vines pulled at her hair, and poisonous orchids were crushed as she barrelled through. Slowly, the poison leeched into her brain, and she collapsed sleepily and out of breath in a pile of brambles. Behind her, the old man approached inexorably, striding relentlessly toward his goal. Finally, he stood over her, and Coldran looked up fearfully, too tired to run any more. He reached out with one wrinkled hand, a leer splitting his jowled maw. Coldran drew her last reserves together, and met the approaching claw with her teeth, and bit down with all her strength. Blood gushed in a torrent from the severed limb, as the girl chewed thoughtfully and swallowed the hand. "Tastes like chicken," she remarked. Jeorg bellowed in pain and ran howling, leaving only black viscous blood to mark the foul creature's path home.

Asci:
He shivered, his imagination running through all the possible evil creatures that could be in this dark dungeon. Jeorg waited in silent apprehension, hoping the mysterious creature would make some noise or identify itself. Seconds ticked by, and a drop of cold sweat slowly meandered from hairline to the tip of his nose, the only movement in the cell. The dull whisper of the drop's impact with the stone floor broke the silence. "Who's there?" Jeorg whispered uncertainly.

Hino:

If only a certain author would put as much time and energy into the "real" posts as she does with the fake ones... *cough*

Hino:

"Don't toy with an old man," Jeorg said tiredly. "You have me locked away in this hellhole of a rat cage- and now you mock me. A fine sample of humanity you are."

Jeorg tensed nervously as he was only greeted by silence. Then he heard a scraping sound as the unknown coinhabitant pulled the bar away from his cell door. There was a brief pause followed by an awful sound that emanated from the direction of the clanging. It was halfway between a moan and a sob. Jeorg shuddered at the sound of it. "Who are you? What do you want?" The response was only another moan. Jeorg's stomach turned in horror at the frustration and despair in the incoherent sound. His eyes winced as the moan was followed by gurgling and, finally, another moan of pure despair. Suddenly an idea entered Jeorg's mind. He tried to mouth the sounds himself, and realized what the cause of frustration was.

"Are you a mute? Did you lose your tongue? Clang once for yes."

A solitary clang echoed throughout the dungeon.

Hino:
As the seconds of silence turned into minutes, Jeorg's fear gave way to resignation. "Don't toy with an old man," Jeorg said tiredly. "You have me locked away in this hellhole of a rat cage- and now you mock me. A fine sample of humanity you are."

Jeorg tensed nervously as he was only greeted by silence. Then he heard a scraping sound as the unknown coinhabitant pulled the bar away from his cell door. There was a brief pause followed by an awful sound that emanated from the direction of the clanging. It was halfway between a moan and a sob. Jeorg shuddered at the sound of it. "Who are you? What do you want?" The response was only another moan. Jeorg's stomach turned in horror at the frustration and despair in the incoherent sound. His eyes winced as the moan was followed by gurgling and, finally, another moan of pure despair. Suddenly an idea entered Jeorg's mind. He tried to mouth the sounds himself, and realized what the cause of frustration was.

"Are you a mute? Did you lose your tongue? Clang once for yes."

A solitary clang echoed throughout the dungeon.

Hino:
As the seconds of silence turned into minutes, Jeorg's fear gave way to resignation. "Don't toy with an old man," Jeorg said tiredly. "You have me locked away in this hellhole of a rat cage- and now you mock me. A fine sample of humanity you are."

Jeorg tensed nervously as he was only greeted by silence. Then he heard a scraping sound as the unknown coinhabitant pulled the rock away from his cell door. There was a brief pause followed by an awful sound that emanated from the direction of the clanging. It was halfway between a moan and a sob. Jeorg shuddered at the sound of it. "Who are you? What do you want?" The response was only another moan. Jeorg's stomach turned in horror at the frustration and despair in the incoherent sound. His eyes winced as the moan was followed by gurgling and, finally, another moan of pure despair. Suddenly an idea entered Jeorg's mind. He tried to mouth the sounds himself, and realized what the cause of frustration was.

"Are you a mute? Did you lose your tongue? Clang once for yes."

A solitary clang echoed throughout the dungeon.

Asci:
"Ahoy, Mutey!" Jeorg called in greeting. "Yarr, madame donkey ye be a pretty wench!"

Taken aback, Mutey forgot he didn't have a tongue. "Wench? Donkey?"

"Yarr. Wench."

"But donkey a donkey!"

"Shiver me shurikens. Tis a lovely donkey to be sure."

Asci:
Jeorg opened his mouth, about to ask for his companion's name, but caught himself in time. "I'm Jeorg..." and he trailed off, not knowing what he could say or ask that could only be answered by a mere yes or no.

Hino:

Suddenly the guard walked in.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT DONKEY???"

Horrified, the guard ran away screaming- clearly driven insane by the terrifying image.

Hino:
Meanwhile,

Asci:
It may be said that one can ignore the previous 4 posts, and the story will suffer none the less.

Asci:

Chapter 2.

Shivering, the girl huddled against a recess behind the waterfall and waited as the last light disappeared behind the forest canopy. It had been quiet for a while, but several times during the day when she thought it was safe to leave, another small band of soldiers would pass by. Once, they even called out cajolingly, "Kaeva, come on out girl," in case she were a silly enough git to respond. She listened carefully to the night sounds -normal night sounds. Slowly, she unbent her frame from the small hiding place, joints and muscles protesting from the hours tensed and cold, and stumbled back into the pool through the waterfall. She struggled against the waterfall's undercurrent, and weakly paddled herself ashore.

---* Will this mangled convoluted story ever continue? Tune in next week -same Bat time, same Bat channel!*---

Disclaimer: Donkey dialogue was borrowed from the wonderful Weebl and Bob.